In 1993 I was a high school exchange student in Ann Arbor, Michigan. I was far from home, living in a language that was not yet entirely mine. That year I read Willa Cather’s My Ántonia.
I cried over it. I cried and cried.
A family from Bohemia arrives on the prairie in Nebraska. They have paid a man from their own country for land, for a hole in the ground to live in, for an old stove. They have paid him too much. They do not know it yet. They have no way of knowing. But the neighbours know. They talk about it in the kitchen.
“If they’re nice people, I hate to think of them spending the winter in that cave of Krajiek’s,” said grandmother. “It’s no better than a badger hole; no proper dugout at all. And I hear he’s made them pay twenty dollars for his old cookstove that ain’t worth ten.”
The father is old. At home he was somebody. He was a weaver by trade; had been a skilled workman on tapestries and upholstery materials. His hands could make cloth fine enough for the walls of a great house. Here he cannot ask the price of a stove.
One afternoon the children are quarrelling in the grass.
I heard a mournful voice calling, “Ántonia, Ántonia!” She sprang up like a hare. “Tatinek! Tatinek!” she shouted, and we ran to meet the old man who was coming toward us. Ántonia reached him first, took his hand and kissed it.
Before I got into the wagon, he took a book out of his pocket, opened it, and showed me a page with two alphabets, one English and the other Bohemian. He placed this book in my grandmother’s hands, looked at her entreatingly, and said, with an earnestness which I shall never forget, “Te-e-ach, te-e-ach my Ántonia!”
He does not ask for himself. He knows it is too late for him. He asks for his daughter, in the only English he has, drawing out each word as though length could make up for everything he cannot say.
Years pass. Ántonia grows up. Jim tells her that one day he will go to her country, to the little town where she lived. He asks if she remembers it.
“Jim,” she said earnestly, “if I was put down there in the middle of the night, I could find my way all over that little town; and along the river to the next town, where my grandmother lived. My feet remember all the little paths through the woods, and where the big roots stick out to trip you. I ain’t never forgot my own country.”
That is the page I cried over most.
The feet remember. The body keeps what the tongue has lost.